From the Bench

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Allison Behne

April 18, 2013

April 19, 2013

My mother always taught me to look at situations from multiple perspectives. When I would come home from basketball practice complaining about the extra laps we had to run for not being focused, she would quickly remind me that the coach's job was to teach us and help us be our best. When I was tired from many nights of musical practice, she would tell me to think about my music teachers who had to be at every practice from start to finish and how tired they must be. She never belittled my thoughts, but she always gave me something else to think about. At the time, I didn't see it that way, but now I am thankful. In fact, now I try to teach the same to my children.

Last night, I was very pleased to see that my seven-year-old son is catching on. At dinner, I asked Nathan what he had done during recess. He said that he had played tag during two recesses, but that during the third recess he had had to sit on the bench. Knowing my son, and how he is a rule follower and a people pleaser, I asked him why. He explained that as he was running to the playground, he heard a teacher say, "Nathan, that's enough! Sit on that bench!" So, that's what he did. Toward the end of recess, the same teacher came up to him and asked why he was sitting there. He replied that she had told him to sit down. The teacher told him she had been speaking to a different Nathan who was not being safe and had already been warned.

Hearing this, I was sad for Nathan because even though it was a misunderstanding, he had missed his recess for no reason. I said, "Well, that stinks, buddy. I'm sorry!" He replied, "Not really, Mom. The teacher was so busy taking care of kids, she didn't mean for me to sit out. Plus, it was interesting to watch recess like I was a teacher." He went on to say that he couldn't believe how many kids there are for the teachers to watch, and how hard it is when they are running all over the place. He said he watched three kids fall and get hurt and that he now understands why they aren't supposed to run in certain places. He finished by saying he is going to be a lot more careful when he plays from now on.

I must admit, I was a proud mom when I heard his outlook on the situation. He had put himself in the teacher's shoes. It makes me think of the many times each day I would benefit from putting myself in my students' shoes. How would it feel to be able to self-select the books that are in my book basket? What would it be like to be able to choose the activity I was going to do first? How special would I feel to have my teacher write my name on her calendar? What would it feel like to do work that challenged me and didn't waste my time? Would I rather discuss a good book with a friend or fill out a book report? Where would I like to read during Read to Self? How great would I feel to have my teacher meet with me one-on-one, two or three times a week?

Any classroom teacher who effectively implements Daily 5 and CAFE can be proud of how they would answer these questions. In these classrooms, the students are the main focus, decisions are made in their best interest, and all viewpoints are considered.

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